This post is not to be confused with YOU WON’T LET ME CARE, which is about something totally different.
This post is about how little compassion certain people—not limited to Orthodox and certainly not limited to non-converts—have for those who aren’t halachically Jewish. I’ve found, fortunately enough, that most people in the larger context will accept people as Jewish if they aren’t matrilineal and/or haven’t had the strictest conversion (whether I can believe this and still not accept Reform conversions without kabbalat ol hamitzvot is another story for another day). But there is a good-sized group of people who are vehemently against it.
I say vehemently not because they are legally and rationalistically opposed to something that is against whatever is spelled out in the Talmud or whatever doesn’t live up to their community’s standards of conversion (i.e. the beit din’s necessary level of observance, for instance). This group isn’t interested in looking at the sources and prooftexts for descent and/or conversion so much as they are only wont to express their opinion in any given arena, offending whom they will (“Sorry man, just telling you the facts, don’t blame the messenger”). It happens a lot on the internet, for obvious reasons.
They might say that there is absolutely no room to consider patrilineal descent, whilst not acknowledging that somehow the Rabbis detracted from the Torah by no longer allowing it in favor of matrilineal (prooftext or not; patrilineal was used by the Israelites.. see previous post for details). They might call such people gentiles who can’t touch your wine, and group perfectly hardworking willing potential converts with third-generation nonobservant patrilineal Jews who just like Seinfeld and guilt (whom are spoken about with derision, of course, so to get grouped in is not a good thing). Kiruv groups aren’t interested. Rabbis treat them as gentiles. If you answer “no” to “Is your mother Jewish?”, the conversation is over.
To be clear, I am fine with accepting only matrilineal descent, but there are some stipulations here. Being grouped with gentiles isn’t fair. Questioning my motives isn’t fair. Delaying my conversion isn’t fair. I don’t mind not counting in our Conservative minyan, but being told totally point-blank “You won’t be Jewish here” with no more options provided isn’t fair.
I could complain about conversion all day long, but I’m not on the inside so I can’t do much about it. You know how I feel anyway, right?
